Sandwiches

So much for the honeymoon period.  As I mentioned in my post a couple weeks ago, I thought by now I’d be eating normally.  I had this whole plan of getting the carb craziness out of my system by going a little buck wild when I felt back to normal, and then going back to the Paleo foods.  More so than that, I had this whole grand plan that I’d be eating a variety of foods, starting prenatal yoga and staying fit, etc.  Well so much for that.  At 18 weeks, there hasn’t been significant improvement since a couple weeks ago.

I still can’t eat as much as I used to normally, or I’ll feel sick.  But the food tastes so good as I’m eating it, so inevitably I’ll end up eating too much (which is still less than a normal large meal for me), and not feel so great later.  My weight just in the last day or two is finally creeping past my pre-pregnancy weight.  And this is with me eating carbs all the time.

Lately I’ve been on a sandwich kick.  I love going to the places that have their own freshly baked gourmet bread.  Here in the SF Bay Area, we have Le Boulanger and La Boulange.  Both are places that I can get bread, pastries, and tasty sandwiches.  One has contracted with Starbucks, and the other is next door to Starbucks in my neighborhood.  Not confusing at all.

The problem is the guilt.  Not so much for the sandwich meat, and I do try to get the hot sandwiches.  I feel guilty for eating so much bread and other carbs all the time.  It’s this sickness- I can’t stop!  Ultimately, I give in to my immediate wants- I just eat what I wanna eat.  Which lately usually involves carbs.  It’s like I have an eating disorder- I’m thinking about food all the time.  I finish one meal, and I’m already thinking about what I want to eat next, whenever my stomach stops feeling gross and wants to eat again.  And then I feel guilty for all the carbs, worrying that I’m gonna give myself gestational diabetes and/or make my baby grow too big, but ultimately I still can’t help but give in to the fact that it feels SO GOOD to eat whatever it is that I have my sights set on at the time.  You’d think that the logic of knowing how healthy/unhealthy I eat affects my fetus would help.  But it doesn’t.  I guess now I relate to most of obese America.

Sigh…the guilt certainly doesn’t help things and just makes me feel worse.  I’m not looking for a solution, and frankly right now don’t know what the solution is.  I guess I just needed to vent yet again, after weeks and weeks of this.  Working long hours, feeling sick daily- it just makes for lack of motivation to exercise, and makes me continue wanting carb-laden foods.  I’m just hoping that one of these days I’ll be able eat normally again, or at least have some motivation to start eating healthier.

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6 thoughts on “Sandwiches

  1. Jacques WIlson April 12, 2015 / 10:06 am

    When one’s expectations are reduced to zero, one really appreciates everything one does have.
    – Stephen Hawking

    Being in control of your life and having realistic expectations about your day-to-day challenges are the keys to stress management, which is perhaps the most important ingredient to living a happy, healthy and rewarding life.
    – Marilu Henner

    Winners make a habit of manufacturing their own positive expectations in advance of the event.
    – Brian Tracy

    My happiness grows in direct proportion to my acceptance, and in inverse proportion to my expectations.
    – Michael J. Fox

    If you align expectations with reality, you will never be disappointed.
    – Terrell Owens

    Expectation is the root of all heartache
    – Shakespeare

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    • Paleo OB April 12, 2015 / 5:11 pm

      Thanks, those quotes are helpful. Certainly the expectation that my symptoms would resolve in the 2nd trimester has led to recent frustration. But sometimes we perfectionists just need to know it’s ok to fail.

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      • BOSTONGAL April 14, 2015 / 1:25 pm

        If it makes you feel better, remember that you are not alone! This preggo on the other side of the country can’t get enough of baked potatoes, croissants, etc. For most of my first trimester, I didn’t feel pregnant and tried doing everything “right”: organic foods, no caffeine, lots of vegetables, only whole grains, increasing my calcium intake, even proud that I had been taking prenatal vitamins and other recommended steps for optimal preconception health long before a positive pregnancy test. Now my body seems to have gotten the morning sickness memo, making me feel horrible and barely wanting to eat or drink, so I find myself struggling with the fact that the few things that I can stomach and that make me feel better are not the best choices (not to mention that I no longer can check things off the list of best things to do during pregnancy). Hopefully it gets better for all of us, especially the perfectionists who are beating ourselves up for this!

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  2. Jacques WIlson April 12, 2015 / 10:11 am

    While you are on a sandwich bread binge may I recommend the Dutch Crunch at Little Lucca in SSF.

    You are doing a fine job Mama. Remember to celebrate to “W’s,” like working out last week and a couple of lower carb days. Merriam-Webster calls that improvement.

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  3. Meg April 14, 2015 / 1:38 am

    Interesting…. I have a similar worry but from the opposite problem. For the first time in my life I have totally lost all interest in food. I’m 19, almost 20 weeks and every day I have to motivate myself by telling myself that the baby needs the nutrition. I’m still not sure I’m eating enough micronutrients but I can’t make myself eat anymore because I feel really overfull and get really bad reflux. I too have almost constant guilt from the worry that I’m not feeding the baby enough good nutrition!

    I’m hoping I have enough stored on my body to at least get me halfway there. This has been the biggest surprise of my pregnancy – I came to the primal way of life from having weight problems, now eating feels like a chore. Really really weird feeling.

    Anyway, your toasted sandwiches do sound good though (I’m imagining hot bread and melted cheese and some delicious sauce)…. guess you are getting good (ie nutritionally good) fillings in with the bread, so maybe it’s not as bad as you think? Also the fact that your weight is only just catching up to your pre-preg weight when you’re nearly halfway through the pregnancy is a good thing, right? Could the cravings be because your energy needs are just that much higher at the moment, with work and the pregnancy??

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    • Paleo OB April 21, 2015 / 7:19 pm

      Sorry to hear about your lack of interest in food. It’s amazing, the weird things pregnancy does to our appetites and bodies. Yeah, I do wonder if my cravings for carbs are because otherwise I wouldn’t be gaining weight. I feel like my issues are a variant of yours. I’m now 20 weeks, and still feel gross if I eat too much. But rather than losing interest in food, I feel like I want to make the most of what I can eat, and end up going for the yummy carbs. Sigh, I guess in the end we just have to do what we can, and try not to feel too guilty.

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